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Lenny catches some rays and lots of raindrops.

Blackpool deckchair man refuses to let summer go

As most Brits reluctantly accepted that summer is over by donning jackets and coats as the mercury dropped, one man made a gallant if somewhat misguided gesture of defiance by sitting on a deckchair on Blackpool beach, flatly refusing to let summer go. Stubbornly parked on his deckchair by the North Pier, local man Lenny Austin, known by his friends as 'Loopy Lenny,' or 'Lenny the Loon' told onlookers that as far as he's concerned summer isn't … [Continue Reading]

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Mr Snell pictured leaving hospital in a wheelchair with his bruises still painfully evident.

Hairy man beaten up by migrants on stag night

This is the face of a hairy man who was beaten up by migrants on his stag night in a notorious East London no-go area for white Christian patriots. Alan Snell, … Continue Reading...]

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Ooh Nigel baby! You naughty Brexiteer!

Nigel Farage denies giving Donald Trump a hand job

Former UKIP leader Nigel Farage today denied reports that he'd given Donald Trump a hand job when the pair shared a stage in Alabama during the Republican presidential campaign. When Cafe Spike contacted Mr … [Continue Reading...]

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Pippa Middleton’s arse more attractive than her face, say people

Pippa Middleton, the sister of the Duchess of Cambridge, whose arse stole the show at Kate and Prince William's wedding was shocked to discover that public opinion rates her arse higher than it rates her … [Continue Reading...]

Very nice and all that but it doesn't attract readers.

“Tits get clicks” claim hotly disputed by failed website Editor

Claims that naked breasts and cleavage pictures in online articles attract viewers have been hotly disputed by online magazine editor Martin Shuttlecock, of www.cafespike.com "What a load of old shite," … [Continue Reading...]

We're coming for your hedgehogs ya bastards!

Migrants are eating OUR hedgehogs claims academic

Professor Ken Mist of Titchfield University astonished the scientific community today by apportioning the blame for the UK's rapidly declining hedgehog population on migrants. Because the migrants are eating … [Continue Reading...]

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Migrants slaughtered and barbecued disabled child’s kitten

Residents of Hereford were left furious as it emerged that a migrant gang slaughtered and barbecued a disabled child's pet kitten. Nine year old Violet Elizabeth Huff of Covington Gardens in the city hasn't yet … [Continue Reading...]

A black woman, who'll probably get shot soon for having a broken tail light or something equally trivial.

Black people warned – NEVER put your hands up

Prominent British academic, Professor Ken Mist of Titchfield University has advised all black people that under no circumstances should they ever raise their hands, because the likelihood is that should they do … [Continue Reading...]

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