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Moustachioed men make excellent second hand car salesmen - allegedly.

UKIP voters to grow moustaches in homage to Farage

Now that he's got "our country back" and stepped down as UKIP leader in order to get his life back one might be forgiven for hoping that we'd seen the last of Nigel Farage, but no, just like the proverbial bad penny the obnoxious little twerp keeps on rearing his fugly toad like head and spouting bollocks across the media. Now he's even grown a moustache - although God knows why, because he looks an even bigger twonk with a 'tache - and UKIP … [Continue Reading]

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Is he there? Is he balls...

Can YOU spot TV Chef James Martin hiding in these pizzas?

Following in the magnificent tradition of crap news websites like the Mail and the Express we thought we'd give our readers a really stupid and pointless 'can … Continue Reading...]

Best of CS

Kim Kardashian's arse pictured yesterday.

Concerns Raised Over Kim Kardashian’s Arse

Concerned citizens in the Western world have been raising concerns over Kim Kardashian's arse after it failed to appear in global media for two days running. "This is most disconcerting indeed," Dublin … [Continue Reading...]

Reason enough to crack open a bottle of Bolly on the way to Fortnum and Mason's

Britain’s Intelligence Rating Slashed By 37 Points

The Global Intelligence Monitoring Partnership (GIMP) announced from its Geneva HQ this morning that Britain's official intelligence rating has slumped in the last month by a shattering 37 points, taking it to … [Continue Reading...]

Georgina Osborne pictured in Accrington yesterday.

Trump Tried To Get Into My Knickers Claims English Rose

US presidential candidate Donald Trump was allegedly obsessed with former model and reformed drug addict Georgina Osborne and made repeated attempts to seduce her during a night out at a snooker club in … [Continue Reading...]

The Police enthusiastically arresting somebody who didn't do the murders yesterday.

Riverdance Killer strikes again

The serial murderer dubbed 'The Riverdance Killer' has added another victim to his gruesome catalogue of evil, following the discovery of the body of a young male in London's Argyll Street, in the heart of the … [Continue Reading...]

Here's a steam train we cleaned up earlier.

UKIP Plan to reintroduce steam engines, rickets and head lice

Sources are reporting that in a bid to assuage disgruntled Brexit supporters who were expecting a 21st century re-enactment of Kristallnacht and a Stalinesque purge, UKIP will be campaigning to reintroduce … [Continue Reading...]

WC Footy 166

Nigel Farage’s Gypsy Grandmother Put A Curse On The England Football Team

This has got to be our weirdest story of the week, but we are assured by a bloke down the pub that it's all true. It appears that in 1966 Nigel Farage's gypsy grandmother was having an affair with a German … [Continue Reading...]

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