BF’s Paul Golding Warned To Lay Off The Kebabs

A half eaten kebab pictured last week.

A half eaten kebab pictured last week.

A Britain First insider exclusively revealed today that the far-right group’s leader, Paul Golding has been advised to lay off the kebabs for a while or run the risk of becoming a really, really, fat bastard. BF members expressed concern over the portly gobshite’s rapidly expanding girth, which can be clearly seen on recently released Britain First clips.

“He’s a bugger for an extra large doner with salad and lashings of garlic sauce,” the insider confided. “He often has two a day and he’s on first name terms with the staff at Ali Bullo’s Kebab and Pizza Grill in Swanley. Jayda’s forever nagging him about being a porker but he takes no notice. It was only when Doctor Hassan warned him to lay off the kebabs, and exercise more or risk getting type 2 diabetes that he started paying attention.”

Kebab shop proprietor Ali Bullo commented: “Him come in shop two three times every day. Is good customer but him no really like us. Him smile to face only for kebab – is best in Swanley, but deep in heart him hate us. Is why Mehmet put little extra protein in garlic sauce, if you get what I mean.”

We asked Paul Golding for a comment but one of his minions told us he was out somewhere flogging tat in a shopping centre off a rickety table.

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Paddy Berzinski

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