Contaminated Egg Scare A Huge Boost For Brexit

Contaminated eggs in gravy - that's mad.

Contaminated eggs in gravy – that’s mad.

Leave voters have been given a huge boost as it emerged that the contaminated Dutch egg scare is concrete proof that people who voted to leave the EU were right all along.

“See, we told you the EU was an evil dictatorship and now they’re trying to get revenge for the Brexit vote by poisoning us all to death with their dodgy unelected eggs,” raged Joe Spencer, a committed Brexiteer from Spalding. “It’s all part of the New World Order plan to flood Europe with slaves so the elite can sip champagne and smoke big cigars on expenses that WE pay for! We told you this would happen!”

A spokesman from the Institute of Egg Studies issued a counter-statement insisting that the removal of certain egg related products from supermarket shelves was a purely precautionary measure involving only 0.007% of British eggy product stocks and reiterating that there is no risk to public health.

“They always say that,” Joe Spencer argued in caps lock. “We need to unshackle ourselves from the CORRUPT EUSSR DICTATORSHIP IMMEDIATELY and make trade deals with reputable egg producing countries so we can MAKE OUR OWN LAWS and do away with the elite by MAKING JACOB REES MOGG PRIME MINISTER and helping Mr Trump to BOMB North Korea into a sea of molten glass before their TOXIC EGGS leave us SHITTING OURSELVES INSIDE OUT. Or something…”

More as we get it.

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