David Cameron Is Absolutely Not Corrupt

You won't squeal will you?

You won’t squeal will you?

“…In any way whatsoever,” said lifelong Conservative voter Oscar Howard. “There’s just been a misunderstanding somewhere and I’m sure it’ll all sort itself out, but I don’t believe a word of it myself.”

This, hot on the heels of Panamagate; leaked documents from Panama revealing that allegedly David Cameron’s late father Ian, was heavily involved in an international money laundering operation involving such luminaries as Vladimir Putin, Colonel Gaddafi and Bashar Al Assad.

Alleging that the late Ian Cameron never paid UK taxes in his life, which to Mr Howard seems almost to constitute the brutal buggeration of belief.

“I’m absolutely certain that Mr Cameron’s Etonian Bullingdon Club education can’t possibly have been funded by tax evasion. He seems like such a nice chap; honest decent and with a fantastic work ethic. At least I hope so – otherwise as a lifelong Conservative I’m going to look a right twat.”

MS for Cafe Spike

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