Our Christmas message to politicians

Theresa May - hasn't got a fucking clue what Brexit means.

Theresa May – hasn’t got a fucking clue what Brexit means.

Dear politicians

Whilst we – the great British public – truly appreciate that you’ve taken the time and trouble to record personal Christmas messages to the nation, you really shouldn’t have bothered.

Quite frankly we’ve all seen more than enough of you bastards throughout the year, so for fuck’s sake give us a break from your patronising bollockspeak. It’s Christmas – we don’t really want to be reminded that you exist at all, much less being inadvertently forced to consider the absolute fucking mess you’ve made of our country.

Jeremy Corbyn - Stiffer opposition in a wet fart.

Jeremy Corbyn – Stiffer opposition in a wet fart.

We can’t help but think that you should all be grafting your bollocks off trying to put right the things you’ve so successfully managed to monumentally clusterfuck throughout the year, not forgetting all the poor bastards who are sleeping rough and struggling to make ends meet as a result of your balancing the bastard budget.

When you’ve been directly responsible for thousands of deaths, multiple suicides and countless cases of extreme hardship whilst arse kissing the rich, the last thing we need during this festive season is a bunch of arseholes like you ruining our Christmas holidays by lying through your teeth about how important we all aren’t.

Leave us alone and get things sorted out you clueless fuck-trumpets.

Kindest regards

Cafe Spike

PS – Merry fucking Christmas.

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