April Fool’s Day 2015 – Why We Haven’t Bothered

Silly Moo

Silly Moo

We went into this year’s April tomfoolery with pretty low expectations, and frankly speaking this year’s media offerings were uninspiring at best. We did actively consider running a spoof article or a hoax story but decided against it, for the simple reason that everybody and his mother do it. They crank them out like clockwork and almost without exception they’re a load of old crap.

This year we’ve had the old square eggs chestnut, bubble wrapping cars at safari parks, introducing hippos to the South Downs and trampoline aisles in Tesco stores.

Then we had the corporate entries – Marmite Clear, ice cold beer delivered to your door within 30 minutes by drone and dehydrated pizzas. (Just add water, they swell up and then pop them in the oven.) Probably the dumbest pizza related April Fool’s was put out by Dominoes – driverless delivery bikes.

Probably our favourite though was that the silent majority of long-suffering Brits appear to regard Z-list ‘celebrity’ Katie Hopkins as some sort of heroic figure bravely standing up to the scourge of political correctness. That can’t possibly be anything but an April Fool’s stunt, right? We’re no fans of Katie Hopkins – she’s offended just about everybody imaginable, as has been well documented over her brief career – but come on… She spouts crap because she gets paid to do so, and the more controversial the crap she spouts the larger the cheques will be – at least that’s what we think. It’s just a pity that people get so wound up about this woman, but they do – she even gets a mention here, although we’d much rather ignore her. Ho hum… We can be hypocritical arseholes too.

Where were we?

Oh yes…April Fool’s pranks.

When the BBC ran that spoof Panorama segment decades ago about the spaghetti harvest it was the greatest spoof ever, and will never be bettered. It was, and remains the benchmark and nothing since has ever had anything like the same impact. It was the ultimate April Fool’s prank.

Everything since has simply been a pale imitation – Wi-Fi enabled swimwear, flat-pack mobile phones, whatever. Dull and predictable.

Which is why we couldn’t be arsed. That, and the sad reality that we really aren’t all that clever.

Reporter: Martin Shuttlecock