Morbidly obese Asylum seeker to sue NHS over gastric band op

A surgeon, wondering where to start.

A surgeon, wondering where to start.

A morbidly obese Afghan asylum seeker is currently receiving legal aid in order to sue the NHS after surgeons refused to schedule gastric band surgery to help her to lose weight.

Mother of nine, Mazra Hussein, 43, of Derby argues that the NHS has a moral duty to help her weight loss programme and is furious that her request has been snubbed.

“As a Muslim woman it is my duty to be pleasing to my husband – something I cannot possibly be when I am very overweight. It’s very annoying that the NHS won’t help me to be sexier for my husband. I am currently in discussions with my legal team and we’re looking at filing a suit against the NHS within weeks. If we win my case then I stand to collect a six figure sum in compensation, part of which will fund gastric band surgery at a private clinic and the rest will probably be spent on a new family car and perhaps a world cruise.

“I don’t feel at all bad about suing the NHS,” she added. “They won’t help me because I’m a Muslim – which is just racist – and because the family is on benefits. It would have saved the NHS money in the long run if they’d just done the surgery in the first place when I demanded it. It’s high time they were challenged.”

The surgeon responsible for refusing to carry out the procedure, Mr Oliver Hartnell was unrepentant.

“We carried out a clinical assessment based on the patient’s welfare,” he told us. “And we decided not to perform the surgery, based on the fact that Mrs Hussein has made no effort whatsoever to help herself. Given that she lounges around all day, every day, eating Indian takeaways, munching pizza and drinking copious quantities of sugary drinks we declined her demand for gastric band surgery. It’s sad that she feels the need to take legal action against the NHS, but she probably didn’t tell you that we’d agreed to review her case if she takes steps to improve her situation herself, which she has so far refused to countenance.

“Patients need to understand that the NHS needs them to be proactive in their own care. We can’t be put into situations whereby patients live unhealthy lifestyles and then demand that we repair self inflicted damage. That just isn’t on and we’ll defend that position every step of the way.”

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Giant rat turned out to be a kangaroo

That isn't a kangaroo - it's a rat.

That isn’t a kangaroo – it’s a rat.

A Derby man visiting his daughter in Australia spotted what he thought was a giant rat on a trip into the outback, but it turned out to be a kangaroo.

Tom Byron told of how he’d always wanted to see the Australian outback but was horrified when he spotted the ‘giant rat.’

“For a moment I was petrified,” Tom said. “Then I felt such a fool when my daughter pointed out that it was a kangaroo. I just had these sudden nightmare images of these things running around on the London Underground, trespassing on the motorways or coming up through

An Australian giant rat that isn't really a rat at all, but a kangaroo.

An Australian giant rat that isn’t really a rat at all, but a kangaroo called Joey.

people’s lavatory bowls. When I realised my mistake I went a bit red in the face with embarrassment and had to agree with my daughter when she called me ‘a silly old sausage.'”

A spokesperson for the Tourism Board of Australia reported: “We’re glad this little mix-up hasn’t put Mr Byron off visiting our beautiful country. We really don’t have rats as big as kangaroos so there’s nothing to be scared of. We’ve got all manner of snakes and venomous spiders that’ll scare the pants off you, if not kill you. Oh, and then we’ve got the cassowary, which is a flightless bird with razor sharp talons that can quite easily disembowel a grown man. Have a g’day!”

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