UKIP Out Of Step With Core Support

The mark of the beast

The mark of the beast

In a concerted effort to throw off its swivel eyed racist loony image, UKIP have gone to extraordinary lengths to clean up their act, distancing themselves from far right extremist groups and stating repeatedly that they are not a racist party.

But is it working? And are they serious or are they just taking the piss?

It seems that although the party may in fact be serious about making a half baked attempt to make itself more acceptable to the public at large, it doesn’t seem that their hard core supporters adopt that line, with many accusing the party of going soft on issues such as race and Islam.

Given the venom directed at Muslims by so-called UKIP supporters online, support for far right extremist groups such as Pegida and even Britain First, anti-semitic statements and the applauding of acts of violence perpetrated against vulnerable refugees, UKIP’s hard core support appears to be more racist and xenophobic than ever.

Fair minded people accept that the refugee crisis is a problem which needs to be addressed, and that realistically there will be bad people among them, but that’s one for the authorities to sort out, not the foaming at the mouth lynch mobs who seem to crave a modern day Krystalnacht. With no appeal for calm or rational thinking coming from UKIP, one can only assume that the party condone the behaviour of their supporters, because they aren’t taking steps to suggest any otherwise.

One political observer remarked:

“It’s come to a point where anybody with the tiniest thread of human decency is going to go to extraordinary lengths to disassociate themselves with UKIP and with everything UKIP purport to represent, including a Brexit, because they’d be ashamed to admit it. It’s the fault of the party and its hardcore support and not any outside influence that UKIP has become a laughing stock across the length and breadth of the nation.

“The UKIP leadership has been ineffective since last year’s General Election, its finances appear to be at crisis point and its hardcore have repeatedly expressed themselves by posting hate messages on websites, openly supporting far right racist groups and generally making the Nazis appear like a far left tree-hugging group with their vile message.

“Nobody in their right mind would support such nonsense. When they were described by David Cameron as a bunch of swivel eyed loonies, the PM hit it right on the money, and he’s a bacon faced twat at the best of times, yet it’s a perfect illustration of how UKIP really are a bunch of shithouses.”

Martin Shuttlecock for Cafe


EDL Invade Newcastle Christening Looking For ISIS

A disappointed EDL member, pictured slinging his hook.

A disappointed EDL member, pictured slinging his hook.

Newcastle couple John and Samantha Osbourne had an unwelcome surprise at the Christening of their baby daughter Iris, at St Botolph’s church in the city, when proceedings were interrupted by an unscheduled invasion by members of the North-East branch of the EDL.

Family, friends and the presiding vicar could only look on in slack jawed amazement as the group of ten men swept into the church chanting anti-Taliban slogans and demanding to know where ISIS were because they fancied having a fight with the Jihadist group.

“It was a lovely ceremony until all these fat blokes in flat caps stormed in and started shouting, wanting a fight,” Samantha told us. “When they told John that they’d heard ISIS were appearing at the church and that they’d come for a fight – you could have knocked us down with a feather. I told them, we’ve got an Iris here, but no ISIS that we were aware of, but they were having none of it.”

“I tried to explain to them that there must be some mistake but they wouldn’t budge,” the Rev Timothy Allsop said later. “They started chanting like a crowd of football hooligans, called me a Marxist lefty and quite clearly stated that they weren’t going anywhere until they’d given ISIS a good bashing. Eventually we had to call the police.”

“The worst of it was that they upset the bairn,” Samantha said. “She’d been as good as good as gold until these pot-bellied morons stormed in spouting their rubbish. After the police removed them she cried her little head off throughout the rest of the ceremony. These people are just middle aged overweight idiots with a serious brain cell deficit.”

A spokesman for Northumberland police confirmed that officers had been called to an incident at St Botolph’s church, and that an undisclosed number of trespassers had been removed from the premises, adding that the EDL members had acted upon information received which subsequently turned out to be flawed.

This isn’t the first incidence of failed intelligence related to the North-East branch of the EDL. Recently they invaded a book club meeting in the area in the hope of giving media personality Russell Brand a fair slapping, although the author was nowhere near the city at the time.

A senior EDL spokesman refused to condemn the North-East branch, claiming that their enthusiasm was admirable, if somewhat misguided.

“We’ve had a few communication breakdowns with the North-East branch recently,” the spokesman stated. “But in fairness they’re as keen as mustard. The problem appears to be that only one of them can read, a six year old who’s quite bright for his age although apparently not too hot on comprehension. Our focus is on improving the branch’s performance and our understanding is that a thirteen year old has applied for the job of Senior Intelligence Officer. He’s in remedial reading classes at the moment but that shouldn’t be a bar to joining the EDL. We welcome members of all stripes – providing they’re English and a bit thick.”

Reporter: Eddie Mackum