Have The Germans Really BANNED SAUSAGES?

A liar tucking in to sausage and mash earlier today.

A liar tucking in to sausage and mash earlier today.

SLAMMED!

According to the Sunday Express they have, but then according to reports in the EXPRESS there’s all manner of malarkey going on these days. The THREE MONTH ARCTIC WINTER they predicted never actually came about, and neither did the GIANT METEORITE cause GLOBAL DISASTER on Saturday night as predicted. Which tends to suggest that generally speaking the EXPRESS TALKS OUT OF ITS ARSE.

BLASTED!

The EXPRESS has form for this. Indeed the NATIONAL AND ONCE REPUTABLE news outlet appears to have abandoned responsible journalism in favour of blaming refugees and migrants for just about EVERYTHING imaginable. Such a travesty then that THE EXPRESS’s article of the month features a clip of some American bloke POPPING A MASSIVE ZIT, and drowning the screen in repulsive pus. Not forgetting THE EXPRESS’s really, really annoying USE OF BLOCK CAPS FOR SENSATIONALISM in just about every fucking bullshit headline they run.

SLAMMED AND BLASTED!

Oh, and not forgetting their rather weedy tactic of describing anyone with even the most minor of criticisms as SLAMMING this, or BLASTING that. What a load of old bollocks.

UKIP AND DONALD TRUMP BLASTED!

As if all that wasn’t enough they support UKIP – reporting every mouth-fart that Nigel ‘Mustard Pants’ Farage pollutes the atmosphere with. And they support Donald Trump – a Presidential candidate who seems more interested in convincing the American people that he doesn’t have small hands or a small dick than in actually saying anything relevant.

GERMANY SLAMMED AND BLASTED FOR BANNING SAUSAGES!

Just like the EXPRESS report concerning the full English breakfast ban – it’s just more bollocks from a poorly written, badly researched right-wing NATIONAL NEWS OUTLET that really should know better and act more responsibly, rather than pandering to its EDL and Britain First supporting readership of moronic neanderthals.

Just sayin’ like.

MS for cafespike.com

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Daily Express Sparks Full English Breakfast Fury

Dip your bread - get in there!

Dip your bread – get in there!

Although nobody in their right mind could ever take the DAILY EXPRESS seriously, one has to wonder whether they’re taking the piss out of their own cerebrally challenged readership. The latest target for the froth at the mouth kippers who frequent the EXPRESS is an article describing how EU bosses scuppered plans to serve a full English breakfast at the recent round of Brussels Brexit negotiations.

Predictably the kipperati are up in arms about it, as usual, but is it actually true?

Even long distance scrutiny instantly reveals that the story has no foundation whatsoever – just a bunch of uncredited sources describing something that it is highly unlikely to have ever actually happened. So basically it’s all a load of bollocks.

Pretty much like every other EU myth the EXPRESS publishes.

Yet it’s succeeded in getting the less stable members of the EXPRESS readership foaming like rabid dogs at the outrageousness of it all. As can be seen by the three comments reproduced below.

“MarkMacd
Just another example of EU contempt for Britain and our Great people. Why would anyone want to continue to stay In is beyond me.”

“PhilipHilton
Brussels at their most hypocritical bureaucratic ineptness by banning a traditional English breakfast-will covering it in chocolate do the job?”

“AlfGarnet
They cannot stand anything English or British. The control freak spit out their dummy *** FRENCH and ( BELGIUMS) continue to run this illegal migrant (now swamped) shocking federal monster of an UN-common Market. Exit this sodden pathetic red tape strewn political clown-house.”

Which makes any sane person wonder.

Is the EXPRESS playing to its audience? Is the EXPRESS taking the piss? Or, even more disturbingly – Does the EXPRESS actually believe the total bollocks it publishes?

Answers on a postcard.

Martin Shuttlecock

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