“Tits get clicks” claim hotly disputed by failed website Editor

Very nice and all that but it doesn't attract readers.

Very nice and all that but it doesn’t attract readers.

Claims that naked breasts and cleavage pictures in online articles attract viewers have been hotly disputed by online magazine editor Martin Shuttlecock, of www.cafespike.com

“What a load of old shite,” Shuttlecock said. “Tits – big, small, perfectly formed, pert or whatever – make no difference whatsoever to the amount of clicks an article gets. It’s all bollocks is that. We’ve tried just about everything short of animal porn to attract readers and our most successful story in our undistinguished history featured a really shit picture of The Scoop in London in an article about the MP for Fareham in Hampshire.

“So that’s that theory well and truly fucked.

“If anyone out there has any ideas how to make our failing website more popular we’ll be glad to hear them.

“Just don’t ask us to start writing quality articles – because basically we’re fucking hopeless.”

*Don’t pass this crap on to your friends because frankly it’s all becoming something of an embarrassment.