Where’s your poppy Farage?

You forgot the poppy - dickhead!

You forgot the poppy – dickhead!

It seems that Nigel Farage – the thinking man’s patriot – made a monumental cock up as he blagged his way into a meeting with US President-Elect Donald Trump, by forgetting to sport a poppy on remembrance day.

Whilst those who Farage and his followers refer to as ‘traitors,’ ‘the elite,’ ‘lefty luvvies’ and ‘cultural Marxists,’ such as Cameron, Blair, Corbyn and millions of ordinary Britons proudly sported the poppy as a symbol of remembrance, respect and gratitude, it would appear that Farage couldn’t be arsed with any of that patriotic bollocks because he was too busy brown nosing the first orange skinned president in US history.

It appears that the man of the people is more interested in schlepping around trying to line his own poxy pockets than in paying respect to the war dead.

More of a loathsome horrible little self-serving prick than a patriot then.

But then we always knew that.

MS for cafespike.com

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Photoshopped poppies all the rage this year thanks to David Cameron

A picture we snapped off the internet today showing a twat wearing some photoshopped poppies

A picture we snapped off the internet today showing a twat wearing some photoshopped poppies

Since the news broke that somebody in the Downing Street press office photoshopped a poppy onto an image of David Cameron apps have been popping up all over the internet in order to enable users to shop a poppy onto their own images. It’s a move which makes perfect sense financially for app users as it enables them to disseminate the impression that they’re actually wearing a poppy in support of the fallen, rather than the reality of them not being arsed to actually bother buying a real poppy.

“It’s quite a disappointing development really,” Paul Goldbloom, leader of the Britain’s Fist political party. “We rely on people buying our poppies in order to fund the party. These funds are vital to us because they pay for our piss ups down the pub and our bus fares to attend our rallies where hardly anybody turns up. If you ask me, photoshopping poppies is fraudulent and there ought to be a law against it because it’s misleading the public and proper hitting us in the pocket.”

Pranksters have taken to the internet in droves in order to photoshop poppies all over the place, in a spirited outbreak of good humour, which analysts suggest won’t have a detrimental effect on poppy sales in the real world.

“I think it’s quite comical really,” a poppy seller we encountered in town earlier on our way to Wetherspoons for a steak Tuesday lunch told us. “And I’m all for anything that raises awareness. I think we could do a roaring trade in badges with a little arrow on them bearing the message: ‘This is a genuine Royal British Legion poppy purchased from official sources and is definitely not photoshopped.’ It would certainly send a clear message out to that wanker David Cameron.”

Paddy Berzinski

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