Trump To Deport Nigel Farage

You're fired ya prick! Now fuck off!

You’re fired ya prick! Now fuck off!

US President Elect, Donald Trump is to have Nigel Farage deported from the USA as soon as possible after discovering that the creepy little shit isn’t some big shot politician after all – just some half arsed chancer who showed up at Trump Tower prostituting himself like a three dollar whore. [Read more…]

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Macho man Trump does a runner in Reno after gun threat

I'll put my hands up! Just don't shoot!

I’ll put my hands up! Just don’t shoot!

Oh Donald…in a scene reminiscent of Stephen King’s novel, The Dead Zone, you ducked and ran for cover when security identified an armed threat.

Oh dear.

We thought you liked guns…

We thought you were a tough guy…

We thought you’d protect us…

There you go.

Byee…

Cafe Spike

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Mississippi Republican thought Nigel Farage was an alien

An alien pictured waving a small flag last week.

An alien pictured waving a small flag last week.

When Nigel Farage appeared on stage with Donald Trump recently in Mississippi many attendees were somewhat confused regarding exactly who Nigel Farage is and what on earth is his relevance to the US presidential campaign.

It seems many got the wrong end of the stick.

“He’s some kind of alien ambassador to planet earth ain’t he?” said staunch Republican Jerry Klugelheimer III. “They told us we’d be making contact this year with the aliens, and he’s the alien, right?”

When our reporter corrected Mr Klugelheimer and explained that Nigel Farage is in fact the outgoing leader of UKIP and a leading Brexit campaigner he scratched his head, frowned and said:

“Well I’ll be damned. I would have sworn he’s an alien. He looks like a goddamned alien, he talks like a goddamned alien…wow. I can’t wrap my head around this. I have no clue what the hell UKIP or Brexit is but if that guy is human he’s one pug ugly little pipsqueak.”

“I can’t understand why Trump had him up there,” said Republican voter Dolores Saskwatch. “He reminds me of Hitler – all that hand waving and aggressive talk makes him come across as a nasty little man. I think Trump should dump him immediately – the Trump campaign doesn’t want to be associated with extremist right wing politics.”

Hmmm…

More as we get it.

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