Brexit voters ARE old racist xenophobic coffin dodging wankers – you read it here first

A Brexit voter pictured possibly giving his ex a hand job in some hospital or other.

A Brexit voter pictured possibly giving his ex a hand job in some hospital or other.

Let’s just take a moment to consider the motivation of Brexit voters, [Read more…]

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‘Bollocks’ no longer the most expressive word in the English language

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Bill Shakespeare – who apparently invented the word “Bollocks” during a lengthy drinking session in Stratford. Pictured yesterday.

‘Bollocks’ has for decades been the most expressive word in the English language, covering the broadest range of definitions since the previous most expressive word, which was ‘shit.’ But it’s now been surpassed by another word which is the bollocks and not shit by anybody’s standards. [Read more…]

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Salford Swearing Ban Could Raise Billions

What people imagine Salford looks like.

What people imagine Salford looks like.

The swearing ban, which is to be incorporated within a Public Space Protection Order (PSPO) forms part of Salford council’s strategy to curb anti-social behaviour in the city, with particular focus on Salford Quays. And according to local businessman Gary Meakin, it could raise billions.

Salford Quays is used on match days by thousands of Manchester United fans going to and from United matches at nearby Old Trafford, and the way United have been playing this season means the council have already missed out on a billion pounds or so.

“Of course a spot-fine system would have to be introduced and policed,” Mr Meakin explained. “And I’ve written to the council offering the services of my security agency. We’ll be coining it with a swearing ban in Salford because the fuckers who live here just can’t help themselves.

“Oh, shit…I just swore myself didn’t I? Bollocks…”

More as we get it

Martin Shuttlecock

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