Dear Mr Cameron – The Knives Are Out

Little PIIII-IIG! Little PIG! HERE'S JOHNNY!

Little PIIII-IIG! Little PIG! HERE’S JOHNNY!

The foundations of the Prime Minister’s tenure appeared to be crumbling as further revelations of corruption surfaced as a result of the recent leak regarding a Panamanian tax haven which revealed that Mr Cameron’s late father was an avid tax evader.

With the Conservative government’s reputation and honour lying in tatters there are increasing calls for them all to resign or face imprisonment from concerned citizens.

“These bastards are selling off the family silver in order to line their own pockets, and then have the audacity to avoid paying taxes,” irate taxpayer Walter Hetherington raged. “And to fund all this they’re cutting back on public services? It’s ridiculous. How can they possibly sleep at night in the full knowledge that they’re hurting the poor and the sick and hammering the working man?

“I’d suggest that they do the right thing for once and disappear back down their rat holes before the public loses patience and they’re strung up from a lamp post like Mussolini. Or was that Hitler? I don’t know but it’s all a disgrace when you think about it. And we aren’t having it. Enough is enough – Barbra Streisand and the late lamented disco diva Donna Summer once sang – if memory serves.

“Anyway. He wouldn’t ever lie to us.”

 

Ted Pemberton

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DAILY EXPRESS Readers FOOLED By Another REALLY STUPID Headline

An angry EXPRESS reader pictured at the weekend

An angry EXPRESS reader pictured at the weekend

The ailing tabloid plumbed ever gloomier depths today as it headlined with a fake story about a Lebanese ‘child bride’ on its website. In a deliciously ironic twist, the Express managed to bamboozle its own readership as outraged readers pounded their keyboards in order to EXPRESS their fury.

The story, which involved a middle aged man posing with a child bride was a social experiment carried out in Beirut in order to gauge the reactions of passers by as the ‘happy couple’ posed for photographers – but many EXPRESS readers didn’t seem to get that bit.

What the right wing EXPRESS attack dogs don’t appear to understand is that nobody in their right mind, regardless of political persuasion, condones child abuse, child grooming or children being forced into marriage. The problem is that the EXPRESS and the extreme right seem to think that they alone are the possessors of a moral compass, ergo anyone who disagrees with them is a paedophile – even though that isn’t the point.

The sad truth is that these constant attacks are based on an old Nazi strategy. It’s all about dehumanising those who are viewed as enemies, instilling fear and hatred into everyday people and the removal of individuality. Hence the use of the word ‘migrants’ and the stream of sex attack stories. It’s cynical manipulation in order for the EXPRESS to reinforce its anti-EU stance among its gullible readership.

For all its jingoism it would be interesting to know how much the Express owner, Richard Desmond actually pays in taxes, and whether it would be in his own interests to exit the European Union.

In the meantime the EXPRESS continues to publish its UKIP inspired rubbish and the hate messages continue to pour in.

When it comes to dumb and dumber the EXPRESS surely takes the award for DUMBEST

Martin Shuttlecock

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