Ten Christmas TV Specials We’d Love To See

It's Christmas Day and this family are settling down in front of the TV to watch 'The Evil Dead.'

It’s Christmas Day and this family are settling down in front of the TV to watch ‘The Evil Dead.’

Strictly Not Dancing – Ten couples who all have two left feet flatly refuse to dance and prop up the bar despite being cajoled by a panel of judges possibly including Jeremy Clarkson, Holly Willoughby, Donald Trump, Nicole Scherzinger and a meerkat out of the Compare The Market ads.

Gogglebox Watch – Drunk people eating massive takeaways are filmed watching and reacting to Gogglebox on the telly, saying how they either like or dislike the Gogglebox regulars and revealing which ones get right up their noses. [Read more…]

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Queen Reaches Bloody Good Innings

The Queen - apparently her pelvic floor is in great shape.

The Queen – apparently her pelvic floor is in great shape.

As Her Majesty reaches her 90th birthday, long suffering Britons have cause to celebrate on this momentous occasion. Whilst it’s true that Brits are living longer, most shuffle off this mortal coil somewhat prior to any 90th birthday celebration, so what exactly is it that makes our glorious Queen so special?

Even the most hardened cynic must admit that when it comes to smiling and waving and looking stultifyingly bored at cup finals Her Majesty takes some beating. She’s also a global authority on giving the appearance of being enthralled by yet another display of native dancing or folk art when she’s gracing Maoris or Inuits with her regal presence and that isn’t something to be sniffed at.

But most amazingly, she keeps Corgis.

Corgis are notoriously temperamental little bastards at the best of times, and they can be vicious – although whether they can be more destructive than the Duke of Edinburgh has yet to be determined. That one’s a bit of a toss up actually.

But to be fair she’s reached 90, she’s still mobile, she hasn’t had to resort to signing on, so she has a full employment history, and even though she’s had the best of everything from birth she hasn’t lived a life free of tribulations. It may be true that she’s never had to take an ATOS fit for work test but to be fair she did have to pose for a portrait for Rolf Harris.

Which just goes to show that even the elite don’t always get things their own way.

God Save The Queen!

MS

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