Trump To Deport Nigel Farage

You're fired ya prick! Now fuck off!

You’re fired ya prick! Now fuck off!

US President Elect, Donald Trump is to have Nigel Farage deported from the USA as soon as possible after discovering that the creepy little shit isn’t some big shot politician after all – just some half arsed chancer who showed up at Trump Tower prostituting himself like a three dollar whore.

NYPD are currently in the process of hunting down Farage in Manhattan, describing him in an all points bulletin as “a strutting caucasian cock with an unfeasibly large mouth and beady little eyes.”

“We were misled about this Farage bozo,” said a security guard at Trump Tower. “We heard he was a big shot but the odious little creep is nothing but a chancer and a serial loser. What the hell is Brexit anyway, some kind of mouthwash?”

Cafe Spike tried to get a comment from Donald Trump but were told that he was busy painting himself orange and trying to squeeze into a corset.

Paddy Berzinski in midtown Manhattan for cafespike.com

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